Don’t remind me of what today is.

So today is probably my least favourite day of the year. And I’m going to get through this entire post without saying the word, because you know exactly what day it is and exactly what I’m referring to.

My reasons for my disdain are enough to fill notebooks and I firmly believe that my views are sound on this issue. You can totally deduce from here that because I don’t have a boyfriend, that I don’t like the celebrations of today. This is totally fair; however, I have been in relationships before where this particular day happened to be within the time of our relationship, and it was honestly not a priority on my list. In fact, I don’t remember giving a card or receiving one. And that was totally fine.

But what I do remember is the sadness that comes with the failure of expectation. Thankfully, it wasn’t my expectation, but I have watched other’s go through it. And it makes my own heart break, because my friends are great people who aren’t being recognized by the people that they “love”.  They might have been in relationships with these people or admiring them from afar, but it was the expectation that let them down.

Exactly what is this expectation that I speak of? In my own experience I have found that my expectations – for my boyfriend and for myself – have tended to be very high. And the higher you put something on a pedestal, the harder it will fall when it does. I’m talking about expecting extravagant gifts on this particular day (and other special days), committing too fast too soon, expecting someone to change just because you are in their life… the list is endless.

I’ve been there. I’ve expected too much, and in some instances, too much was expected of me. And what happens when you don’t fulfill expectations? You get into some argument which typically ends off with “I’m very disappointed in you” (true story).

I’m not saying to throw all your standards out the window and settle. But at the same time, your expectations have  to be realistic. In an unfortunate way, while social media and the internet have connected us together and has enabled us to talk to people whenever we want, we have lost our sense of patience and depth. If’ you’ve ever wondered why talking to someone online is a breeze but then in person is like walking through quicksand, it might be because online, you can process. You can walk away from your phone if you want to and think. You can hit them with a seen. But you can’t hit them with a seen in real life, because then you start to become weird to them.

Beyond that, conversations have become incredibly shallow. After small talk, a part of us dies off if it becomes awkward. And because we are impatient, we tend to move on, not even trying  again. It comes back to the word of the day: expectation. And because of our impatience and shallowness, we have almost come to expect every relationship to be a bust.

This most certainly isn’t everyone, and I would like to think that it’s definitely not me. But in the back of our minds, we do have those ‘what if’s’ and hypotheticals boggling our minds. We’re impatient but we also expect fantastic relationships to just form at the moment of its conception.  I might be stating the obvious here, but it’s kind of difficult to build something up if we’re too impatient to wait out its process.

Relationships and love and all other great things require patience. And I’m writing this to remind myself of that.

/R

 

(featured image from  http://www.upstore.me/red-carnation-flower-wallpaper.html)

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A Vancouver-based writer who won't let her height get in the way of her dreams! Lover of God, good food, coffee & beer, corgis, and exploring with family & friends. Producer & host of Y57 Media on Vancouver Co-op Radio, CFRO 100.5 FM and a weekly contributor for Curiocity Vancouver.

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