Check Your Entitlement: Love & Impatience
I saw something on Facebook today. It always starts like that, doesn’t it? Anyway, it was shared by a couple people and I couldn’t help but clicking on the link to read more and enlighten myself. The interesting thing is that it was an article that was written in April, so a few months ago. The title is very explicit, raw, and it de me question myself, my friends, and my generation:Wow, it’s been a really long time since I last wrote. I know I say that every single time, and it kills me that it takes me so long to come out with content. I frustrate myself a lot of the time. I digress though..
As I read through the article (which you should definitely read, by the way, because it says something very interesting about our generation), I couldn’t help but feel a lot of things at once. I felt sad, because ultimately, this article illuminates a truth that our generation embodies. We are a generation of instant gratification, fuelled by our own impatience and narcissism. We pride in posting the best photo with the best filters and best caption in hopes of getting the most likes. If something comes off at first blush as difficult, we try and cut corners. If something takes too long, we move on. We get bored way too easily, and this video by College Humour definitely will test that for you. We’ve de-evolved, with the attention span of a goldfish, and I think that the same can be said about relationships, particularly that of the romantic kind. That guy that you’re interested isn’t responding to your moves? Don’t waste your time, they tell you. Move on, there are other fish in the pond. That girl doesn’t want to move to second base yet? Find someone who can, and will.
On the other hand, I felt slightly angry after reading this. Who are these people, telling us that our generation has no self-control? It’s a sweeping statement that definitely isn’t true for everyone. It’s true that technology and social media has greatly impacted the way that we communicate and ultimately date, but that doesn’t deny the fact that humans still crave intimacy, friendship, and relationships.
I guess the one thing that I do agree with is that sometimes we only are in love with the idea, the concept, but not an actual person. We sometimes prematurely fall under the guise of being “in love” when things are going good: the object of your affection is texting you non-stop, you coincidentally match your outfits, your Snapstreak is on fire… all things that, on the surface, are just that. It’s all surface-level, superficial love.
What I have noticed is that there is no depth. There is no patience, no effort. And I realize that that too is a blanket statement; not everyone is like that. But the real test of depth and love is through the tough times. Relationships are not perfect, and love is not perfect. But therein lies to truth as to whether or not you are truly in love, as in, whether or not you are ready to make sacrifice for the other person.
That sacrifice, along with hardwork, makes it all worthwhile. The second to last paragraph in this article really drives the point home:
We feel entitled to love, like we feel entitled to full time jobs out of college. Our trophies-for-everyone youth has taught us that if we want something, we deserve it. Our over-watched Disney VHSs taught us true love, soul mates, and happily ever after exist for everyone. And so we put in no effort, and wonder why our prince charming hasn’t appeared. We sit around, upset that our princess is no where to be found. Where is our consolation prize? We showed up, we’re here. Where’s the relationship we deserve? The true love we’ve been promised? (via Huffington Post)
And I think that is where the biggest problem is: our sense of entitlement. The world is a tough place, and the only way that we will be able to get by is if we put our head down and work. We can’t expect things to be handed to us on a silver platter while we stand by idly and find the perfect selfie to post. Regardless of what you want, be it a job, a solid grade, or a relationship, you need to work for it. It’s actually quite a simple concept, and yet we are all stuck with our heads in the sand, waiting for someone to give us what we want.
I definitely have my own work cut out for me, and I know that in the end it will all be worth it. And it will be, for you too!
|Thank you, Michael Scott. (via giphy.com)|
To end on a positive note, I’ve finally figured out how to make Spotify Playlists! For a digital native I’m pretty horrible at this stuff…
I wanted to share with you a playlist that I put together. It is sort of topical, as it is entitled Foreslsket, which is Norwegian for “the word for when you start to fall in love”. So, spoiler alert, it’s a collection of mellow love songs! Another spoiler alert, you need a Spotify account to access it!
But yeah, here’s the link to the playlist as well as the song list:
1. “In Her Arms You Will Never Starve” x Copeland
2. “Crush” x Yuna ft. Usher
3. “What Would I Have To Do (After Party Remix)” x David Myles
4. “Brand New” x Ben Rector
5. “Closer to Love” x Mat Kearney
6. “Lover Come Back” x City and Colour
7. “I Choose You” x Sara Bareilles
8. “Craving (Acoustic Version)” x James Bay
9. “Don’t Lose Your Love” x Ivan & Aloysha
10. “Romance” x CRSB
Shout out to the folks at Flux and Folk for the playlist/music sharing inspiration! They have some pretty nifty stuff on their blog – go check it out! You’ll be glad that you did 🙂 !
That’s all from me – take care of yourselves, love out loud and be patient. Good things are on their way!