"The F Word"
So I know what you’re thinking – “Why such a vulgar title?”
Hear me out on this one.
Recently I went to go watch the movie “The F Word”, starring none other than Harry Potter himself (Daniel Radcliffe) and American actress Zoe Kazan. If you have not seen it or are planning to and have not yet found the time to, it is a charming movie that explores a topic that coincidentally I had been exploring and hoped to write a post about for nearly a month now.
To not give too much away, the movie follows Wallace (Radcliffe) and his “friendship” with Chantry (Kazan). Chantry has a boyfriend that, at first, does not scare Wallace because he only means to be friends with Chantry. Eventually the two of them show signs that they are falling in love with each other, and this movie touches on an interesting aspect of adolescent, young adult and quite possibly adult life: can guys and girls coexist with platonic relationships, or will there always be an underlying desire for the other?
We often hear of people dating their “best friend”. Many times these best friend couples turn into engagements that turn into couples who are still madly in love with each other after 50 years. Of course, the logic here is simple: many of us would probably not last in a relationship that did not begin as a friendship. As I had learned from talking to other people for my last social experiment, “love takes time to grow in”. It makes perfect sense that two people, who first start off as friends, could eventually find that they are in love with this friend. Should the affection be returned, this could be the start of a relationship.
However, we know perfectly well that just because we hang out with people of the opposite gender, that does not automatically deem us to be dating the other person. Talking to different people, the verdict is similar: guys and girls can hang out as friends. One person I talked to put it very clearly:
“It is possible for a relationship between a guy and a girl to lean anyway. They could both choose to’friend-zone’ each other because their relationship is almost like a familial, brother-sister kind of love. They could both eventually fall in love with each other because they realize that what they have is more than just friendship. Not fairy tale love, but pure, selfless love. Or it could be split down the middle, where one wants to be more than just friends while the other feels that where they are is enough. It is different with every pairing, because each person is unique. Find a combination that works and you either have yourself the best friend you could ever ask for, or your future spouse.”
Personally for me, I have heard my fair share of rumours go around about the people that I hang out with. I have seen that I do have a considerable amount of friends that are of the opposite gender. Obviously, some I may have an attraction for, some I may date and some I will just remain friends with. But I firmly believe that platonic relationships are possible. Things become a little confusing when selfish motives get in the way. If we root our friendships in holiness, humility and true love, then we will find the true meaning behind the relationships we forge, instead of trying to search for meaning behind smoke and mirrors.
Of course, not all of our friendships will be like Wallace’s and Chantry’s. Take heart, though, that God has something planned for you and someone to spend your life with. Look for true friends – ones that will help you to reach your goals and be the best person you can be and challenges you to help them as well as others. These relationships help us to learn more about the world, each other, and ultimately how God made the world to be.
And since school is starting up soon, I challenge all of you to make new friends. Keep the ones that you have, but never limit yourself. Platonic or romantic relationships aside, the first step into becoming friends is meeting people and stepping outside of yourself.
“Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honour.” – Romans 12:10
So enjoy the rest of the long weekend! Rest up and get ready for new adventures and new friendships. Love one another with brotherly (and sisterly!) affection and spill more ink while you do.
Thanks to all those that I talked to for this post! What are your thoughts on guy/girl friendships? Do you think that all friendships can last, or will possible feelings get in the way? Leave your thoughts in the comments below! Thanks for reading! x